11.27.2006


finally, as expected.. i already gave up MCI. after a month (or was it? i barely reported for work) i grew tired and restless of all the nonsense that we do. well for them it isn't. but i dont think it's really fair telling people about the company's false promises. yes, they give money but not everything benefit. oh okay! they have cool stuff benefits and all that shit but i just dont feel it. up til now, i still cant give a valid reason why i left. despite the reason that people there just need to fuck an official to get a higher position. okay. or is it about the compensation? im really not sure. i rant about the small pay but i dont really understand how they tax it or i simply dont give a damn how much they fool employees with the pay. i really dont care. and besides, my money pretty much goes to the toilet bowl after a day or two. it's just it i dont know.

but i still dont want history to repeat itself. i still need a job to pay the rent and to survive and to have enough leisure in life. it's that promise again and again, that as soon as i get a new chance id grab it. so that time i didnt.

just a brief recap:

i was being a very unproductive agent and i barely go to work so i had a written warning. then i went to work again, i thought that warning wasnt true coz they didnt show me the documentations. then i went to work again, still bored to death, still making fun of it. then friday, my sales were good and my sup was commending me for that. i dunno what's wrong with my mentality. the next working day, i didnt report again. for 3 days. then i came back to file my resignation (coz i just dont want to work there, i know my rants are stupid but i just dont want to). but when i came back to the office, sup told me that i was already terminated due to excessive absences (again). there were crying moments (i dont want to relive the memory it's pathetic). then as we move on to the other room, and he talked to the HR people, when he came back he told me that the written warning was invalid since he didnt pass it so he put me in PIP instead. wow, on the way home i thought i was really lucky, given another chance. and there was a spark of hope and i was telling myself that i'd grab it and do my best.

but that didnt happen though.

i screw up for the 3rd time. after a week of contributing a lot to the team and getting my first pay (which was kinda big i dont know why) i didnt go to work again. in short, AWOL, terminated. geez.

so i looked for another job, i passed resumes online, gone through a lot of redundant interviews and met a lot of people and spent time over the phone with people telling me im invited for an interview. and yeah, been through a lot of exams again (i think 5 companies,2 are agencies) but in accenture, i ws there for the exam and i messed it up since i know i dont have the chance, the test was like an entrance exam to the top university on earth, then in etelecare i failed i dont know why but pishy passed (yeah i was sullen and i thought it was unfair). then in people depot, carmela endorsed me to HSBC. false hope for me. i mean i look up at HSBC. so i dont think id pass. but anyway i went to HSBC to try my luck (if there is) and here i am..


in i-cafe outside of HSBC's training room, waiting for pishy's dismissal.

another hope.

let's see what's gonna happen.

am i gonna pursue my career here and enroll mommy for an intellicare card after six months? or am i gonna screw up again and sourgrape for the rest of my fucking bum life?

.. and the journey begins. i mean continues.


give me siomai.
x 5:50 p.m. x

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misshell aka mike aka michiko aka june::

i was born on Sybil's birthday at 3:15 am.

i reside in an almost inhumanely tiny roomie with a toilet room shared by 17 other boarders. 17 is unlucky for me.

i work at nowhere as of the moment. i just draw.

i own a multi-colored bead bracelet with a red lace.

i eat rice once a day, and i shit every two days.

i love watching pishy do the 3-5, i wonder when can i have my own load.

i hum share the shower with someone very closely related to me.

i can't sleep without brushing my teeth.

i want to eat shrimp sandwich, NOW.

i sigh, yawn and scratch my head when i'm bored.(don't we all do?)

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

*kunwari seryoso*